Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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