she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
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I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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