Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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