I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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