Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize