how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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