We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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