Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
