my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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