I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
