the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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