I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
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That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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