I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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