it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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