he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize