We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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