The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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