I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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