YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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