sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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