No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
only if we run a train.
done.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
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I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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