so explain again why im purple
no
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize