Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize