I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize