I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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