i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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