whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize