im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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