im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize