We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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