Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize