So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i think i just lost a toe
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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