so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
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when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
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So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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