I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize