I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize