So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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