I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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