Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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