Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize