The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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