how can u be prego again
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
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It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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