I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize