He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize