Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize