Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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