Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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