i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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