He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize