remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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