i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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